"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...

"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ." - by Woody Allen

"A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." - by Woody Allen

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." - by Woody Allen

"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" - by Woody Allen

"Stop making me repeat myself! Its bad for my health!" - Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing)

"Listen up numbskull, if Kasumi isn't back by dinnertime, we're gonna have to eat Akane's cooking, and if we do that, man oh man we're gonna wish we were lost at sea! " - Ranma (Ranma 1/2)

"So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?" - Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho)

"Does a death wish cause you to talk to me that way?" - Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho)

"Don't talk, it makes you sound stupid." - Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho)

Suzumiya Haruhi Novel:

“What on earth was my subconsciousness thinking!?”
“However, as always, this girl was thinking up all sorts of nonsensical stuff. I can't help but wonder if there's a white hole inside her head, since her common sense seems to come from a different universe altogether.”
“A localized, non-corrosive amalgamation of asynchronous space is independently occurring in restricted condition mode.”
“Even if you're speaking with phrases that make it seem like you just pulled words out of a dictionary and lined them up after they caught your eye, I, having no dictionary, am helpless.”
“What're you doing here then?”
“What else would I be here for? To illegally enter the premises, of course.”
“Don't openly declare your criminal intentions like that, there's a limit to being shameless!”
"What would be nice? Hotpot? Sukiyaki? Crab is a no-no. I can't take it. Picking the flesh out of the shell drives me nuts. Why can't crabs make their shells edible? How come they didn't do anything about that during the course of evolution, might I ask?"  
"That's exactly why they evolved shells! They don't undergo natural selection in the depths of the sea just for the sake of your stomach!"
"That computer already belongs to us. There's not much fun in reclaiming what's already ours, find something else to bet on!"  
"For some reason I was moved by Haruhi's words, she can always find a way to turn any illegally obtained object into her legal possession. Does she intend to become a professional thief?"

Tsukihime game:

"Vampires don't move about in the daytime, so you'll be on guard for real during the night."
"...Do you realize you've just said something that completely contradicts your existence?"